A Summer of coming out of hiding - the healing journey

I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to share with you as summer begins to wind down, and I realized that it is surprisingly difficult to choose. So much has happened over these past few months, externally, internally, spiritually and emotionally, that trying to fit it all into one little newsletter seems almost impossible.

Maybe the best way I can describe this summer is that it has been a time of coming out of hiding.

I have been speaking more openly about some of my childhood experiences and about the long process of healing from childhood trauma. For many years, so much of that story existed silently inside of me. Even after I began working through it, there was still a difference between knowing something privately and being willing to give it a voice publicly.

I understand that silence and peace are not the same thing.

Sometimes silence is peaceful. Sometimes it is wise. Sometimes something is simply ours and doesn't need to be shared.

But silence can also be where shame survives.

For me, healing has increasingly meant learning the difference.

I have been on a long healing journey, beginning in 2008 when I completed my Reiki Level 1 certification and continuing through to my Reiki Master course with my beautiful soul sister, Renata, in 2019. That was 11 years of learning, healing and growing, but reaching that milestone certainly didn't mean the healing journey was over.

What I have come to realize is that when we master something, we don't necessarily reach an ending. Instead, we build upon what we have learned and continue to expand. Healing has many layers and many different facets, and sometimes the next stage asks something entirely different of us.

For me, one of those stages has been learning to finally put down the shame and guilt and become more open and vulnerable about some of the experiences I have lived through. Not only for my own healing, but in the hope that speaking about them may help someone else along their journey as well.

I believe that when we heal ourselves, that healing rarely stops with us. It changes how we love, how we relate to others, what we pass on to the next generation, and what we are willing to carry forward. In that way, as we heal ourselves, we begin to heal a little more of the world around us too.

There is something powerful that happens when we begin telling our own stories without requiring everyone else to understand them, validate them or interpret them the same way we do. I don't need to convince everyone of everything I remember or have experienced. I can simply say: This is part of my story. This is what I remember. This is what I have lived with. And this is what I am learning from it.

That is also part of breaking generational cycles.

We often imagine cycle-breaking as something dramatic: walking away, confronting someone, drawing a hard boundary or completely reinventing our lives. Sometimes it is those things.

But sometimes it is much quieter.

It is choosing not to carry someone else's shame.

It is having a conversation that previous generations couldn't have.

It is allowing an old misunderstanding to finally be cleared.

It is reconnecting with someone without abandoning yourself in the process.

It is forgiving without pretending something didn't hurt.

And sometimes it is realizing that reconciliation doesn't necessarily mean returning to the relationship that once existed. Two people can meet each other again as the people they have become.

I have experienced some of that as well.

There have been unexpected conversations, moments of understanding, and connections with people from my past that have reminded me that healing doesn't always move in a straight line. Sometimes life circles back and allows us an opportunity to see an old situation through completely different eyes. I always liked to say that “healing happens in circles(cycles)”. I now have a much better understanding of that sentence.

My dreams have also been particularly interesting lately.

Dreams have always been one of the ways my deeper inner world speaks to me. Some seem psychological, some symbolic, some intuitive, and some I simply don't know what to make of. I've learned that I don't necessarily have to decide immediately what category a dream belongs in. Sometimes its meaning becomes clearer months or even years later.

One of the things I would like to start sharing more often here is some of those dreams and what they have taught me about fear, intuition, memory and healing.

Maybe that is where I am right now, less interested in having everything neatly figured out and more interested in paying attention.

Paying attention to what keeps returning.

To what has finally stopped returning.

To the people who unexpectedly reappear.

To the things my body no longer wants to carry.

To the stories that are ready to be told.

And to the parts of myself that no longer want to remain hidden.

For those of you who originally found me through my readings or energy-healing work, I am still here. My reading schedule is simply closed at the moment because life and work are very full, and I don't want to open appointments unless I genuinely have the time and energy to give people my full attention. I have also said no to doing psychic events with Galaxy Psychic Fairs this fall, but hoping to feel the energy return for the new year.

For now, I think this space may become a little more personal.

There will still be spirituality, intuition, healing and all the things that have always been part of my work. But there may also be more stories about being human, about trauma and recovery, strange dreams, relationships, synchronicities, mistakes, reconciliation, boundaries, family patterns and the sometimes very messy process of becoming ourselves.

Many of my intuitive insights have guided me through the process of remembering, understanding and healing from my trauma. What I have discovered through doing this sacred work is that something within us begins to shift. Our personal power returns, our courage is restored, our sense of belonging can change, and our ability to consciously create the future we want suddenly feels more accessible.

There is a freedom that comes with no longer being defined by what happened to us, but instead recognizing how much possibility still lies ahead.

I am excited for what is yet to come.

Perhaps healing is about becoming less afraid to be the person who was underneath everything all along.

With love,

Bri

P.S. I’ve been sharing a little more about my personal healing journey on my social accounts, and my Substack blog, and I’ll continue to share more as I feel ready. Pacing myself is important, as speaking openly about some of these experiences can come with a significant personal and emotional cost. I’m learning to honour both my desire to speak and my need to take care of myself along the way.