Fixing things around the house and looking inside myself

I took a vacation — or more of a staycation. I’m not really going anywhere, but instead focusing on fixing and updating little things around my house this year.

The Angel House is 120 years old. It’s an Edwardian-style stone house with many unique features, but like with any old home, there’s always work that needs to be done. This week I’ve been sparkling some surfaces in the bathroom, painting, recaulking, fixing a few tiles, repainting the front door, and finding the perfect matching color for my planters and the door frame. The color is called “Ginger Tea.” I absolutely love it.

Lately, green has become one of my favorite colors. I often find myself wearing different shades of green clothing as well. It reminds me of how my aura has often appeared to me over the years — different shades of green, specifically aquamarine. It’s the color I feel most comfortable with. Because the house is an old stone house, there are so many shades naturally woven into it already — earthy reds, blues, greens.

I also have to take care of some things in my attic. We had so much ice this past winter that part of my eavestrough actually came down from the weight and pressure of the buildup. The real issue is that there is warm air leaking into the attic from the house. I’m currently in the process of finding someone to properly air seal and insulate the attic to hopefully avoid bigger problems next winter. It definitely won’t be cheap, but it’s necessary if I want the house to stay safe and comfortable.

I’m still not sure what to do about my Angel House shed. It’s showing its age and slowly starting to fall apart. Two window panes have already come out, and the cover above the door looks like it might slide off with the next heavy snowfall. Part of me wonders if I should repair it, while another part of me thinks maybe it’s time to tear it down and replace it completely — which again would be expensive.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve also been thinking more seriously about eventually moving one day, specifically after my kids are older and no longer living at home. Maybe even into a smaller condo somewhere closer to a city where I wouldn’t have the constant responsibility of outside work and maintenance.

As someone who struggles with seasonal allergies, outdoor work can become very stressful at times. Sometimes I think I would rather simply go outside for a walk because I want to — not because I have to maintain something.

At the same time, over the years I’ve become deeply attached to this house because of everything connected to it — the history behind it, the way I ended up here after my divorce, and all the experiences I’ve had within these walls while awakening, remembering, healing, and rediscovering my spiritual abilities.

But I’ve also come to a place in my life where I no longer feel the need to hold onto something simply because of its history or because of memories attached to it. I’ve learned how to let go of things I no longer truly need instead of keeping them out of attachment. That includes my house. It even includes my website and the name connected to it. In some ways, it all became a kind of identity, and I’ve never really been someone who enjoys being boxed into identities, titles, or labels. I prefer feeling free and unbothered, simply being myself without needing to live up to an image.

I also started a blog a little while ago and have really been enjoying it. I’ve had fun playing with the themes, colors, and layouts, but more than anything, I enjoy the writing itself. I love when words simply pour through me naturally.

Nowadays it’s much easier to edit writing than it used to be. It’s no longer nearly as time consuming, which means I can spend more time simply sitting with my thoughts and writing freely without worrying so much about how long editing and publishing will take afterward.

I know many people are afraid of AI — my own daughter included. She hates it. I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily a fan of it either, but I also believe we have to move with the times and learn how to use the tools available to us if we want to create the things we feel called to create. Sometimes that means using tools we don’t fully trust yet. New things often feel uncomfortable because we worry about where they may lead and how they could change society down the road.

I no longer really see AI as a threat. I see it as a tool — something I can use to my advantage, which is exactly what it’s meant to be.

Lately I’ve also come to a much deeper understanding of past relationships and what I’ve learned through them. Every relationship has brought me closer to myself. They helped me realize that I am my own individual person with my own way of thinking, living, and seeing the world.

I found that in relationships, especially as a woman, there were often moments where partners tried to mold me or shift my thinking when it didn’t align with their own beliefs or perceptions. But I’m not someone who easily bows to another person when it comes to my own grounded beliefs and understanding of reality.

I’m actually proud of myself for staying true to who I am and for standing up for myself in those moments. I’m especially proud of my discernment. Sometimes my discernment can be triggering for others because I have a strong inner protector that constantly wants to make sure I stay grounded, even while having spiritual experiences.

For me, it has always been important to come back to reality. To come back to myself. To remember what truly matters right here, right now. To stay present in the moment and connected to the people and world around me.

It’s very easy to get lost in spiritual mumbo-jumbo. I think most of us who have been on spiritual journeys have experienced that at some point.

All I really know are the experiences I’ve had and how real they felt to me. That’s why I love sharing them. They genuinely amaze me. It amazes me that some of these things are even possible — things I once never would have believed myself.

As I was painting my planter containers at the front of my house today, I was listening to a podcast about Akashic Records and soul readings. Something about it gently brought me back to myself again — reminding me of who I am and what feels true for me. It reminded me that this is a source we can all access and connect with in our own way.

I’m going to share the link to the video I was listening right here. I hope you enjoy it.

And hopefully I’ll see you again soon. Let me know what you think in the comments. It always helps to like an article or post. It reminds me that you’re there, that you’re reading, and that you’re present here with me.